This Began a Long Time Ago...

I have to share a little secret.
I didn't know what was coming, but I did know that it was coming. I'm a bit low on sleep now, so instead of writing a long update, I'm just going to post a journal entry I wrote on August 27. God always prepares the way. :-)


August 27, 2008


Well here I am.


I don’t know why God has called me here or even exactly what He wants me to do, but here I am. I’ve avoided beginning this journal for some time now, but I keep feeling like God is asking me to do it. I’ve always wanted to be an avid pen-and-paper journaler, but God chose to make me left-handed and painfully slow at writing, so I guess I’ll have to settle for being a typer.

Now back to business.


Like I mentioned, I don’t know exactly what I’m supposed to accomplish with this journal other than to share what God is doing in my life right now. And that is precisely why I have avoided beginning it…

Josh and I heard a sermon recently on the relationship between God and suffering. The pastor explained how painful experiences that occur in our lives fit into the picture of a God who is loving, merciful and wants only the best for His children. When we left that night, I confessed to Josh that I had been feeling like God was preparing me for something painful to come. And his response was this:


“I’ve been feeling the exact same way.”


That brings me to today and my resistance to write these words. In my wavering human nature, I spend one minute trusting in God’s perfect plan (Jeremiah 29:11) and the next minute fearing it. Somehow I have felt that if I put this down on paper, I would be ushering in a terrible event. Like I was “jinxing” myself or my family. But in my heart, I know this isn’t Truth. God has not only allowed, but He has ordained every moment in the script of my life. And despite the way I think my life should go, it is God who determines my steps (Proverbs 16:9), and He uses them all for His glory.


It goes without saying that, in my flesh, I absolutely don’t want myself or my family to face tragedy or difficulty. But 2 Corinthians 12:9 tells me that God’s grace is enough for me to cope with anything He gives me. That passage also tells me something even more important: “[God’s] power is made perfect in my weakness.” So I am trusting that God knows what is best and that He will give me strength and grace to travel through even the roughest paths.


The storm we find ourselves in now may be as rough as it gets. Or this could simply be a light sprinkle in preparation for a hurricane. But regardless of what comes, "I am trusting that God knows what is best and that He will give me strength and grace to travel through even the roughest paths."


Josh has an informal meeting (interview?) with a company at 2:00 tomorrow afternoon, so please pray that. As for tomorrow morning? He's going to see his sweet little girl dance in ballet class. :-)

Good night,

allison