hope fulfilled

i know you're probably surprised to hear from me.  after all, as my mom pointed out recently, it has been close to two months since i've written.  i've accepted that because of the nature of my business, this little blog will probably have some major peaks and valleys, but as the fall rush is gradually slowing i'm ready to once again overwhelm your eyeballs with photos of my darlings. 

but first...

josh and i decided this year to do something "christmas-y" with the kids each day between now and christmas.  we've got a handful of things already on the calendar - baking cookies, watching "rudolph", attending christmas concerts - but the first order of business was getting our tree up as soon as we got back home from our thanksgiving travels.  so yesterday we pulled the truckload of boxes out of the closet and set to work.  we assembled the tree, hung the lights, and started on the slew of ornaments.  the little ones excitedly grabbed handfuls of them out of the "kid box" while i gingerly unwrapped the ornaments out of the "super-special-please-don't-break-these" box.  i gently picked up one of my very favorites and turned it over to read the back for the 1000th time - for your child known only by god.  then like i have every year since 2005, i wept for the child we lost that year. 



like she has with every little one that has ever been a part of our family, my mom cross-stitched a special gift particularly for that baby and i hang the ornament in a prominent place on the tree each christmas.  but this year, as my mind moved from the loss of our second child all those years ago to judah's death last year, i couldn't help but wipe the tears and smile with joy as i remembered a post i wrote last christmas.  the sixth stocking is a story of grief and hope - grief over the tremendous loss our family had just experienced but hope that in the next year the lord would bless us with a child.  this is the third year that we've hung six stockings on our mantle but it's the first year that our house has been home to six people.  and now, just inches from that first ornament made by my mom is another that she recently gave us...




praising god for his faithfulness!

weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.

psalm 30:5

the anniversary

i woke up before the sun had yet risen thinking about him, but there were no tears, no falling apart. just that quiet sadness that's forever mingled with a contented peace.

last saturday was the one year anniversary of judah's death.

i was in memphis shooting anna and scott's wedding, and i knew that the whole day would be a whirlwind of activity and excitement. i thought that would probably be best. in fact, between getting out of the hotel, inhaling breakfast after a snafu at the local cracker barrel, making a wrong turn on the way to the church (my precious second-shooter, anna rootie, and i aren't the best navigators), and running around getting everything set up once we arrived, i truly hadn't had much time beyond those first early-morning moments to think about him or about what august 13 had held for our family just one year ago.

as i usually do, i met and chatted with some of the other wedding vendors for the day and ended up in conversation with the florist who was wrapping up the final details on her gorgeous work. as she was preparing to leave, she asked if i would do her a favor. sure, i replied.

there's one more set of flowers right here, but i don't have a name for who it belongs to. it's for a friend of anna's who lost her son last year at this time. anna asked if i would make it the same as the others but add a single blue rose in the center. would you mind helping me find who this belongs to?

as she looked away from the flowers to my face, my tears gave it away. i think that friend might be me, i said quietly. she put her hands over her mouth and said, i didn't know. i'm so sorry. i thanked her over and over for her beautiful work and assured her that the tears were all sweet now. yes, they still come easily when i talk a lot about judah, but crying doesn't necessarily mean anything bad. it just means i'm feeling.

thank you, anna, for such a precious and thoughtful gift to me on such an amazing day for you. i treasure the many calls and messages you've sent me throughout our adoption journey, and i'm so thankful for your constant encouragement. i love you, friend.

june 27

we landed in ethiopia the second time on a beautifully bright tuesday morning.  we gathered our luggage, loaded everything into the driver's van, and he drove us through dusty, rocky, people-filled streets to the gates of acacia village.  the bald, toothless baby that had met us there just three months earlier now had a head full of hair and two darling teeth peeking up from his gums.  but something else had changed, too.  his smiley, go-with-whatever character seemed different.  by this time he had spent more than three months with the nannies at acacia, and he knew them, he loved them, and he wanted them.  

 

the first tears i ever saw my son cry were as the social worker, helen, placed him into my arms.  

 

 

after a couple of meetings with the nurse and a counselor for some here's-what-he-likes-and-doesn't-like training, the gates closed behind us and we left with micah in our arms.  he didn't smile.  he didn't even want to look at us.

 

 

he cried in the bath...

 

and even when we were playing, he sucked his finger continuously for comfort.

 

when we landed back in the states, his sheer exhaustion and the overwhelming excitement of our homecoming proved too much and he fell into tears over and over.   (photos courtesy of my sweet friend and fellow photog, lacey, of LB studios)

 

 

but then we saw it happening.  we saw his expressionless face begin to grin.  the grins turned to smiles.  the smiles turned to laughter.  and after six weeks of having our sweet baby home, he knows the love of a family...

 

he no longer cries in the bath...

 

and his tears have been replaced with belly-laughs of joy.

 

happy first birthday, micah alexander lewis.  we love you, we pursued you, and we thank the lord continually for the gift you are to our family.

"god settles the solitary in a home."
psalm 68:6

june 26

one year ago today, our lives changed dramatically.  funny thing is, we had no idea it was even happening.

june 26, 2010 - the day that a painfully small baby was born into the arms of his mother in ethiopia.  as most women there do, she labored and delivered him in the difficult conditions of her home, and after naming him after her father, she quietly walked - son in her arms - to the local orphanage and asked them to care for the child she called eyoel.



the world would say that this baby came into existence wrongly by an unknown man who forced his way, took what wasn't his.  but i know in my heart that it's so much more than that.

"for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  i praise you because i am fearfully and wonderfully made."

psalm 139:13-14

four weeks after his arrival at the orphanage, eyoel's paperwork was finally processed and he was given a new family.  a new name.  we began the final steps in the process of adopting judah alexander lewis as our own.

the lord numbered judah's days at forty-nine here on this earth and the rest will be spent in an eternity with him in heaven.  

scripture tells us that god has a plan for each of our lives, but how much can a small, sickly baby really accomplish in a few short weeks?  ask these ladies...i bet they've got the answer.  we met them because of judah.  we love and serve them because the lord graciously ushered them into our lives through judah's death.

as we sang songs of praise this morning at church, tears formed in my eyes as i remembered the immeasurable joy our family had on the day judah was birthed into our lives.

but even more than that, i wept with comfort and anticipation of the promise we also sang about:  "hallelujah, he has saved me.  sin and death shall reign no more!"  

come, lord jesus!

"...weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."

psalm 30:5

appropriately titled...

we've been home with micah for one week now, and as i sat down to write a quick blurb about our first seven days together as a family of six, i came up with way more blog titles than i did blog content.

in the throws of our giardia infestation, the award for the most appropriately-titled post went to:
welcome to crazyville!  i'm allison, and i'll be your guide today.  but thankfully that title no longer seems fitting as the meds have kicked in, the colons have settled, and peace has been restored to our home.  the new first-week title should now be something along the lines of this:  from crazyville to the place of contentment - it's a beautiful drive.

all in all, bringing micah home this week has ushered in a wonderfully fun and exciting time of transition for our family.  have there been bumps and bruises?  yes, absolutely there have, and i would never want to give an impression otherwise.  adoption is in no way a cakewalk and just because we're past the "getting him home" phase of this journey doesn't mean that we're past any and all tough times.  but my little non-blog-readers of today will be the big and knowledgeable readers of tomorrow, so i always try to ensure that i don't write anything that might be hurtful or difficult for them (adopted or otherwise) as teenagers or adults. 

so with that said, here are a few of the highlights that stand out the most from our first week together:

• giardia is no joke, people.  no joke.  (that's probably a lowlight rather than a highlight)
• micah absolutely knows who his family is - especially his momma.  *grin*  he'll search me out in a room and crawl as fast as his chunky knees can carry him into my arms.  
• his siblings adore him.  they adore him so much, in fact, that we're now having to do additional heart training on turn-taking and sharing.  
• the nights are either fantastic - or they're looong.  he's slept 11-12 hours straight half the nights home, and he's been awake and upset for some two-hour chunks the other half.  
• jet lag was nothing this trip.  apparently not sleeping most of the time you're in a foreign country helps to keep you from ever settling into the different time zone.  
• with the exception of the parasite, micah got an incredibly clean bill of health from the pediatrician.  after the doc's encouraging comments, we're even more thankful to the staff at acacia village for the effort they put into providing a loving, safe, and healthy environment for our children before they come home.
• micah LOVES to swing.
• he's not such a fan of baths.
• the dreaded first experience with a carseat has been a complete non-issue.  thankful for that!
• we've been so greatly loved on by friends and family during this process.  from the amazing aunt bethany and grandpam who split lewis-child duty on BOTH of our ethiopia trips to the constant stream of amazing dinners we've had pouring in each night, we've been well cared for, and we're so, so thankful for the help and support during this transition.

i'm sure there's so much more that i could write about now, but today's daddyday and my four little people are up from their naps, so i'm out.  adios!

day one and counting

josh and i talked over and over in ethiopia about when this would feel real.  when would we actually grasp that micah was ours and that the getting-him-home portion of this process was over?  the plane ride over was exciting...




and taking custody of him shortly after our plane touched down in ethiopia melted my heart.



driving away from acacia village for the last time with our baby in our laps was thrilling, but we were still having a hard time believing that he was really ours after all this time.





it might have begun sinking in as micah and i played together at our guest house...




and watching my husband love on our new son made me weepy.




things got a little more real when after 30-something hours of traveling, our plane finally touched US soil and micah became an american citizen (micah's doing his happy dance - you just can't tell in this photo).



but it wasn't until we stepped off of our sixth plane in five days and were met by a host of family and friends that it really hit.

micah is ours...and he's home.






i've been writing this post in my brain all day today, and i've tried unsuccessfully to come up with the words to thank you - the amazing gift of family and friends - for the countless ways you have loved and supported us during this 2 1/2 year process.  as my dear friend, kerry, stepped into our living room today, laid eyes on micah, and collapsed into a weepy mess, i was reminded of how she and so many others have invested into the life of a precious boy in ethiopia.  once without a family, micah lewis is now loved dearly by not only the other five members of the lewis crew but also by the countless members of an extended family who have poured their lives into bringing him home.  so i know this doesn't even come close to expressing how deep my eternal gratitude is but...thank you.  the lord has moved in mighty ways for the sake of this sweet baby's life.

great is thy faithfulness...

...lord unto me.

rambling thoughts from a momma the day before GO-time

1. is this seriously happening?
2. i'm so thankful to the lord that this is seriously happening.  and on mother's day?!?  what a gift.
3. i really like how the "brother room" turned out.





4. but i think the "sister room" might be my favorite.  it's so girly and sweet.





5. the best part was the cost to completely redo the two rooms: $25 for one can of paint, $20 for a quilt from wal-mart, and some furniture moving sweat.
6. is it weird that i used leftover living room paint to paint the boys' room?
7. micah looks so big in the new pictures we got yesterday.



8. i'm super excited to have an evening out in DC with my hubby tomorrow night.
9. but it's kind of sad that we won't be with any of our munchkins on mother's day.
10. 17+ hours straight on an airplane with an infant is a really long time.  especially when it's followed by 9 more hours of travel before we get home.
11. it's a little stressful that we leave early tomorrow morning, and i'm out of town all day today shooting a wedding. 
12. i should probably take advantage of my two hours home and wrap up the packing instead of blogging.
13. i'm so thankful to bethany and grandpam for keeping our little ones while we're gone.  after keeping them for a week for our first trip in february - and offering to do it AGAIN in may - i've officially inducted them into the "rock star hall of fame". 
14.  i'm really going to miss abby, jack, and izzy.



15. oh my word, i'm going to be holding micah in 2 1/2 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



16. we ask that people pray for our safety in traveling, health for us all, peaceful hearts for the little ones here, and that the lord would continue to reveal himself and work in our lives and those around us through micah's adoption and life.  all glory be to god!!!