Wednesday, December 2, 2009

can you be a vegetarian and hate animals?

wait, wait, wait...

before any of you goes all PETAfied on me, let me clarify. i don't actually hate animals (except roaches, but i'm not going to apologize for that one. that's what they get for wearing their skeletons on the outside of their bodies). i don't have it out for any of our two-, four-, or even eight-legged friends. animals and i are just in a hard place right now.

it all started when the kids and i put the christmas tree up last week. as picturesque as this sweet shot is, it didn't have such a tender beginning. when i pulled the piano out so i could plug in the strand of lights, i found a varied collection of items back there. two CDs and a necklace were the first things to catch my eye, but as i reached down to pick up the necklace, this monster charged me:

ok, maybe "charged" isn't the right word, but let me do something to help you feel as crazy-wigged-out as i felt when he appeared:

there. scared?!? don't blame me...he was the one who was trespassing. and judging by his size, he had probably been back there since i unplugged the same strand of lights back in december 2008. what subsequently ensued was a violent tango involving a broom, the piano bench, and a few screams of terror.

the spider is no longer here.

as soon as we got back from the thanksgiving festivities, animal #2 started in. i woke up that next morning to the sound of what seemed to be something banging around in our attic. my immediate thought was that someone had broken into our house, snuck up into our attic, and was sure to make an unwanted appearance soon (don't laugh, i've actually been up there to make sure it's all clear before), but i accepted that that was a ridiculous scenario, and i dozed back off. the next morning, it was louder, and by the third morning, the sound had moved down to directly behind our headboard, and it was impossible to sleep. it sounded like some woodland creature was completing a triathlon of running, scratching, and gnawing 12 inches from my tired, puffy eyes. josh walked around the house on his way out for work and found a big hole in our chimney siding -- which apparently doubles as a fancy entryway into our house for all the neighborhood squirrels.

we're still not sure what to do about that one.

because of the extra busyness around here (not to mention the additional sleep-deprivation thanks to our uninvited house guests), i haven't been taking very good care of myself lately. i've stayed up way too late, gotten up way too early, and i've ended up skipping a few meals here and there. well yesterday as i laid in bed begging the squirrels to leave my bedroom, i decided that when i got up, i was going to make a gourmet omelet breakfast. eggs, cheese, mushrooms, and tomatoes...ooh, i couldn't wait. but unfortunately, our eggs are doing their best to kick me over the fence from being a vegetarian to going all-out vegan.

i cracked the first egg, whisked it up nicely in a bowl and grabbed another egg to add to the mix. but as i cracked it, i immediately knew something was wrong. way wrong. the normal eggy stuff spilled out -- but so did something that, if i stared at it long enough, greatly resembled the makings of a baby chicken.

i get the heeby-jeebies all over again just writing about it. needless to say, my breakfast plans went out the window - along with the rest of the eggs from that carton.  and mom, the answer is "no". i'm not actually going to turn into a vegan.

it just might be awhile before i eat eggs again.  :-)


Anonymous said...

Honey, I completely sympathize with you! I've sent many of those same MAN-EATING spiders to their after-life just this fall! I hate, and I do mean HATE spiders!!
(Now you don't have to wonder any more where you got it from!) :)

Anna said...

omg. ewwww and ewwwwer! i mean yuck! i'm SO sorry you've had such a rotten few days of sleep and work and everything! we have a furry woodland creature that lives in our den wall. i have no idea what to do about it either! i sure dont want to find a hole and close it up bc i dont want it dying in there! ewwww again! i hope your furry woodland creature just decides to move on! so. i hope your days and nights are significantly better and full of only two legged sweet angels and no more of these icky 4 and 8 legged ones. love you! (and by the way...hilarious post!)

The Taylors said...

I've read the Gospels a few times and am pretty sure I've never come across a carrot-nosed wise man! Chapter and verse please??? Just kidding! This post made laugh out loud and throw away all of the eggs in my house. Love you much!

The Taylors said...

I've read the Gospels a few times and have never come across a carrot nosed wise man? Chapter and verse please??? Just kidding! This post made me laugh out loud as I threw away all of the eggs in the house.

Love you,